The process of labor and delivery is difficult. Many mothers appreciate the support that a close friend can provide during this time. Hospitals, too, welcome the extra assistance.
Your role as a birthpartner will be to keep the mother relaxed during the time of labor and delivery. You will be requested to keep her as comfortable as possible, and knowing her well will permit you to plan ahead and foresee what she may need during the time that she is in labor.
Mothers appreciate having someone who understands them and their needs provide comfort and support during this difficult time. Many first time birthpartners feel squeamish, nervous that they may not be able to carry out their demanding role. In order to be successful you must be prepared. Learn as much as possible about labor and delivery, so that you can try and anticpate the mother's physical and emotional demands.
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It is often helpful to visit the hospital in which the delivery will take place. If possible meet the medical staff who will be present during labor. Doing so will make the environment more comfortable when you are working together for the first time. It will also help you learn the route to the hospital, so that if an emergency situation arises, you will be prepared, and act calmly in a difficult situation.
Many mothers find previously undiscovered resources of energy prior to going into labor. Many times they feel the need to clean the house and prepare for the baby's arrival. Babies, though, usually aren't fussy about the house they come home too, as long as they are in the care of a loving suportive family. Advise her to conserve her energy for the long period of labor ahead. If she is not feeling nauseous, encourage her to get as much nourishment and rest as she can.
While all mothers appreciate the emotional support a birthpartner can provide, some mothers like their birthpartners to play a more active role during labor and delivery. Take time to understand her wishes, and become familar with her birthplan, both the desired and alternate versions. You will then be able to clearly present the mother's wishes to the medical staff if she is having a difficult time in labor.
Knowing the mother well will allow you to judge the situation and her moods. Some mothers like to be alone and quiet, while others appreciate verbal and physical encouragment to distract them from the process of labor.
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Whatever path she chooses, always be positive, offering praise, never criticism. If she wants to hear your voice and encouragement, tell her how her cervix is dilatingThe opening of the cervix during labor, caused by the contractions of the uterus. The cervix dilates so that it will be large enough for the baby to pass through the birth canal during delivery.
Visit our comprehensive glossary for more pregnancy terms and definitions., while gently reminding her of the best ways to relax. Your freedom to move around the delivery room will permit you to tell her what the other medical professionals are doing, and prepare her for what will happen next. Remind her of what she has already achieved, both in the process of labor, and over the previous nine months. And of course you should be there emotionally, stroking her slowly, or just holding her hand.
It will be difficult for you to watch someone you love in pain. But be sure never to reveal your anxiety to her. Instead, remind her that each contraction is bringing the baby's birth closer and remind her of the different methods of pain relief you have practiced. Many mothers become anxious about being surrounded by so many people during such an intimate experience. Encourage her to be uninhibited, and don't be upset if results in her becoming critical or aggressive. Such a response is common when pain is intense.
Breathing during labor is important, and she will almost certainly ask you to help her with her breathing patter. Give her the freedom to follow her own rhythm, since very few mothers follow the rhythm they practiced in prenatal classes exactly.
Remind her that adopting different positions may relieve her pain and discomfort and let her lean against you while you cuddle or rock. Take this opportunity to feel signs of tension, while you massage and stroke those areas. Talk her through the visualization techniques you practiced, make sure she is warm and wipe her face and hands. Her freedom of movement will be limited, so if necessary help her put on socks or leg warmers, or give her ice cubes on which to suck. She may not feel like talking as labor progresses, but you can still communicate through touch and eye contact. The intimacy of the experience will be truly special and memorable.
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